If everyone on “24” followed Jack Bauer’s instructions, it would be called “12”

When Jack Bauer goes to the airport and the metal detector doesn’t go off, security gives him a gun

Nobody says ‘hit me’ when Jack Bauer deals Blackjack

If you wake up in the morning, it’s because Jack Bauer spared your life

Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas

Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men

Jack Bauer removed the “Escape” button from his keyboard. Jack Bauer never needs to escape

If you’re holding a gun to Jack Bauer’s head, don’t count to three before you shoot. Count to 10. That way, you get to live 7 seconds longer

Jack Bauer doesn’t miss. If he didn’t hit you it’s because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away

Every mathematical inequality officially ends with “< Jack Bauer" Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Jack Bauer laughs at Superman for having a weakness When President Palmer quit to start doing Allstate commercials, it took him 43 takes before he could stop saying, "You're in good hands with Jack Bauer" Jack Bauer is allowed to leave his phone on during a movie Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30pm If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he’d shoot Nina twice.

Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.

Jack Bauers calender goes from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Jack Bauer.

Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.

Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.